Chris Widener's Weekly Ezine
May 5, 2005
Issue 09

Welcome!

A Formula for Changing Human Behavior

I was speaking at the Building and Office Managers Association the other day about Extraordinary Leadership, and a leader there asked me how to deal with people who are passive-aggressive. As I thought about it, I concluded that what it really comes down to is setting goals, setting boundaries, holding them accountable and rewarding right behavior.

And that in turn got me thinking, isn't all of life about that?

Now, we all know that we can really only change our behavior, but the basics for changing human behavior, whether our own or potentially influencing others, is in engaging in that process:

Set goals
Set boundaries
Have accountability
Reward

Whether it is setting ourselves up for success, training our children or leading employees, I'd say that is a pretty good formula for success in changing human behavior.

Give that formula a shot this week and see what happens!

You Are Made for Success!
Chris Widener


P.S. If you enjoy this week's edition and find it to be valuable, then if you would do me the favor of forwarding it to your friends, family and associates, it would be very much appreciated. If they would like to subscribe, have them send an email to: subscribe@chriswidener.com

Many Thanks!


In This Issue.....

1. Charting Your Course to Success Weekly Article
2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary
3. The Last Word...
4. The Angel Inside for Mother's Day
5. More Information

1. Charting Your Course to Success Weekly Article

The Power in Praising People by Chris Widener

One of the keys to success is to have successful relationships. We are not islands and we don't get to the top by ourselves. And one of the key ways to grow successful in our relationships is to be "life-giving" people to others. Every person we meet, we either give life to or take life from. You know what I mean. There are people who encourage you and when you are done being with them you feel built up. Then there are others who you feel torn down by. Successful people are people who have mastered the art of building others up.

One of the ways we build people up is to praise them. There is power in praising people! Something begins to happen in them, in you, and in your relationship when you praise someone. Remember a time when someone told you something about yourself in a praising manner? It was great, wasn't it? You probably liked that person more after they praised you, didn't you?

Now I am not talking about praising people for the sake of praising people. I am talking about honestly looking for and praising positive character traits and action of others around you. Don't lie to people. If they have done something wrong, correct it, but when they do something right, Praise it!

With that said, here are benefits of and ways to start praising people.

Benefits:

Your Relationship Grows.
Life is about relationships. Family relationships, friends, and co-workers. When we begin to praise people for their positive aspects, our relationships grow. It puts them, and us, on the fast track.

Your Leadership and Influence Grows.
Who is going to have greater leadership and influence capacity in the lives of their followers, the one who tears down or the one who builds up?

Stronger Relationships and Loyalty.
When the person is appreciated and praised, they become fiercely loyal, because they know that you care for them, love them and appreciate them. This will take you to success.

Happier, More Fulfilled People.
I truly believe it is our job to build others up and that they need it. It is a good thing, in and of itself to invest in the lives of others by praising and encouraging them. Even if we never get anything in return, it is the right thing to do to build up other people. Someone else will always come along to tear them down; the successful person will instill in them the power of praise!


Some Ways to Praise:

Character Traits
Is there someone you know who is joyful? Hard-working? Honest? Then let them know how much you appreciate that in them. You can do it with a word or a card, or a phone call. Say something like this, "You know Tom, I think it is great that you are such a hard-worker. It seems like you are always the first one here and the last one to leave. You really set a good example and I want you to know how much I appreciate that." Simple!

Action
Same idea as above. "Sue, I don't know if anybody else has told you this, but your work on the Johnson account was excellent. You have a wonderful ability to communicate the vision of the project and that helps all of the rest of us out in our roles and tasks. Thanks for that. It is greatly appreciated."

Other ways you can show praise and appreciation is with a card, a gift, or time off from work.

Make it your goal to praise at least five people a day. If you can, praise ten people a day. Or perhaps you can try to praise everyone you come in contact with. It will take work but it is possible. It just takes discipline and a little work.

Any way you cut it, though, there is power in praising people. First for them, then for you!


Chris Widener


Chris Widener is an internationally recognized speaker, author and radio host. If you are interested in booking him to speak at your next event, go to http://www.chriswidener.com or send an email to speaker@chriswidener.com or call 877-929-0439 and ask for Hilary.



2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary

"No, that's what God gave you two arms for: To carry me!" -- My five-year-old daughter

Chris' Commentary:
Okay, the conversation before this: I was walking a short distance with my five-year-old daughter and my six-year-old daughter. The five year old was dragging behind and complaining that she was tired. She said, "Dad, will you carry me?" I replied, "Nope, that's what God gave you two legs for: So you can walk." Then came her amazingly quick retort: "No, that's what God gave you two arms for: To carry me!" The lessons you learn from little ones!

Action Point: What did God give you your arms for today? Take some time to be sure to build something beautiful or carry someone along or defend someone weak. Wave hello, lift something up that needs to be lifted or give someone a hug. Use your arms to make yourself successful today. Use your arms to help someone else. That's what God gave them to you for!



Chris is the author of five books including his Newest Release, The Angel Inside - Michelangelo, Il Gigante, and Creating a Life of Power and Beauty. To order The Angel Inside go to http://www.jimrohn.com/shopping/shopexd.asp?id=440 or call 800-929-0434.



3. The Last Word...

This week I'd like to offer you a list of my top 7 books on Leadership. Because I believe we all operate in some kind of leadership role, take some time to read the books on this list and hone those necessary skills for developing the true leader in you! -- CW

Chris' Top 7 Favorite Leadership Books

1. The West Point Way of Leadership by Larry Donnithorne (GREAT book by a man who taught leadership at West Point for 20 years)

2. Developing the Leader Within You by John C. Maxwell (All around book. Follow-up book is Developing the Leaders Around You)

3. Lincoln On Leadership by Donald T. Phillips (Looks at the Life of Honest Abe and the lessons of leadership he exhibited)

4. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen R. Covey (A classic on everybody's list)

5. Servant Leadership Stephen R. Covery (Reminds us we serve those who follow)

6. Leadership Jazz Max De Pree (Lots about shaping the values of an organization)

7. Oh The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss (Okay, it is a Dr. Seuss Book, but I kid you not, this could be subtitled Leadership Lessons for Kids... And Big Kids too. I read it to my kids often and am reminded of what it takes to have a successful journey)


-- CW

4. The Angel Inside for Mother's Day!

If you are looking for a unique gift to give the special "mothers" in your life, we have Chris' book, The Angel Inside, available in both hardback and paperback, along with quantity discounts available, plus 5 free bonus gifts!


The Angel Inside by Chris Widener

Take a journey to modern day Florence, Italy where a despondent thirty year old American goes to "find himself." On the last day of his trip, a mysterious old man approaches him on a park bench and leads him on a tour of art, the life of Michelangelo, the history of the David and a deeper look at his own life. This new novel from Chris Widener will inspire you to take your life to the next level and beyond. It will encourage you and challenge you to create a life of power and beauty.

Choose from Hardback or Paperback. Special Quantity Pricing available, plus 5 free gifts with your order, including:

Excerpts from The Treasury of Quotes by Jim Rohn, Excerpts From the Seeds of Greatness Treasury by Denis Waitley, Zig Ziglar's Little Book of Big Quotes by Zig Ziglar, Excerpts from The Treasury of Quotes by Brian Tracy and The Jim Rohn Sampler CD.

To order go to http://www.jimrohn.com/shopping/shopdisplayproducts.asp?id=20 or call 877-929-0439.
 

5. More Information