Hey there! I trust that your April is off to a GREAT start! I know that mine is!

I spent the last couple of days of March at the Jim Rohn Two Day Event in Dallas. I was the MC of the event and spoke on Saturday morning. It was a time of learning from Jim, re-energizing, seeing old friends and meeting new ones.

One of the things I reminded the audience of is that, as the old proverb says, "the tongue has the power of life and death." That means when we are listening to another person speak, they have the power to promote life in us. That is why it is so important to guard what your ears hear! Obviously, listening to Jim Rohn is a great opportunity to hear the many lessons that he has shared all over the world for over 40 years. His lessons and stories are life-giving!

I want to encourage you to join me for the next two day event in September. I would love a chance to meet you and to give you the opportunity to change your life through the powerful words and ideas of my co-author of Twelve Pillars, Jim Rohn. It will sell out in the next week or two so make sure and sign-up soon if you plan to go: http://www.jimrohn.com/2day

Also, my book The Angel Inside launches today nation-wide through bookstores -- we are doing an amazing re-launch. I sent a special announcement last night, April 16th! So if you missed it, scroll down to #3 to read a sample of the first few pages and then go #4 and see what the "buzz" is all about!

You Are Made for Success!
Chris Widener

P.S. Today's issue is going out to 85,566 subscribers. If you've gained value from what you read in my Ezine, then I would like to thank you in advance for forwarding this issue to friends, family and associates!



In This Issue.......

1. Charting Your Course to Success Article
2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary
3. The Last Word...
4. Can I ask a BIG favor (and give a BIG favor back)?
5. Customer Feedback
6. More Information

1. Charting Your Course to Success Article

Don't Let Conflict Keep You from Success by Chris Widener

Anytime you are making ground and moving toward success, there will inevitably be the opportunity for conflict. That is just a fact of life. You put two people or more in a group and there is potential for conflict - and conflict, improperly handled, can destroy your ability to continue on and achieve your goals.

This is true in many areas of life, from the boardroom to the schoolroom. It can happen in marriage and it can happen between friends and business associates. And when conflict goes bad, success doesn't happen. The good news is that conflict can be healthy and can actually move you closer to success. Success is based on relationships and relationships offer the chance of conflict, so to get success, you must master conflict. So with that in mind, here are some ideas for handling conflict.

When you are the one who is confronting the problem with someone else:

1. Don't assume. Don't assume the worst. Don't assume that they meant what you think they did. Don't assume they know any better. Don't assume they did it on purpose. The fact is that most of the time our assumptions are incorrect and all our assumptions do is cause us to get out of a deeper hole.

2. Ask questions. Since you can't assume anything, you must begin your confrontation by finding out the facts as that person sees them. Here are some questions to ask: What was your intention in saying or doing that (Maybe they had good but misguided intentions)? What were the thoughts behind those words or actions (Maybe they actually have a well thought out position that you hadn't thought of)? Are you aware of how that might have been perceived (Maybe they just missed how that would be seen. Everybody is entitled to blow it)?

3. Tell them how you perceive things, or how you feel, rather than what they did. It is never good to start out with telling somebody, "You did this!" Instead, you can say something like, "I feel like your action may have been better if you would have..." Or, "I think that the way that came across may have been..."

4. Deal with one issue at a time. If they battle back a bit, you may be tempted to say, "Well, that isn't all! As a matter of fact, a number of us here think that you also need to work on..." If there is another issue, then deal with it at a separate time. Too many conflicts go around and around and don't end up solving the original issue. Stick to one point and see it through to understanding.

When someone is confronting you:

1. Don't take it personally. Worst-case scenario, you blew it. But that doesn't make you a bad person. So don't act like they have accused your character (unless they have, in which case you should try to get the conversation back to the facts). When we take things personally we become even more protective and we tend to become defensive and in the end escalate the conflict even more.

2. Don't counterattack. This gets back to dealing with one issue at a time. Don't try to justify or hide from the conflict the person has with you by showing him or her their problems. If they have a problem, great, talk about it later. Don't muddy the waters with debate about who is better, or as the case may be, less guilty. As hard as it may be, let the conversation run its course until it is solved.

3. Ask for some time to give it objective reflection. One way to stop conflict from escalating is simply to ask for time to consider it. Most of the time when people confront us, we had no idea it was coming. Our natural tendency is to fight out of reaction. If we go and think about it, we can be objective and approach the situation objectively, or at least more so.

4. Set a time to get back with them and discuss the issue. Let the person know that you take their concern seriously and that you want to deal with it in a timely manner. Set a time, no more than three days away, to get back together. You will keep from reacting, and they may even find that they had confronted too soon themselves.

Either way:

1. Keep your eye on the big picture. Is this the hill you want to die on? Determine how important this issue really is. Most things simply aren't worth getting too upset about, or so upset that the relationship breaks down. Is a productive business relationship worth sacrificing over the fact that you partner wears too much cologne or their spouse talks loudly at parties? Of course not, but some people go to war over those things. Is your husband worth giving up on because he leaves his underwear on the floor? Now, for the sake of argument, the reverse is true: The other person could wear less cologne or pick up their underwear, because that is an easy way to make the other person happy. Ask yourself if this is really a big deal. If it is, proceed.

2. Always respect the other person as a person. No matter what they have done, they are a person of value and deserve to be treated that way. They are not summed up and defined by their mistake. They have hopes and dreams, fears and worries, strengths and weaknesses. Take some time to picture them outside the office, playing with their kids or doing something fun. This will personalize your issue and keep you from going overboard.

3. Be solution oriented. Whatever you do, don't focus on the problem. Ask yourself and the other person to approach the issue with the idea that you are both working for a solution that will be mutually beneficial. Rather than ask, "Why in the world did you do that stupid thing? What were you thinking?" Ask, "Okay, what is done is done - what can we do to fix this again?" That is much more productive. The goal is to get things going again, not continually punish the other person

Conflict doesn't have to end in a bad way. In fact, it can cause you to develop a deeper and more trusting relationship with the person you have had conflict with. So the next time you have to confront, or you are being confronted, follow the advice above and you will be much further along toward getting through your conflict in a positive way.

Have a great week!

Chris Widener





2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary

"The ability to keep your purpose in the forefront of your mind with a high degree of clarity is the sure cure for a lack of motivation." -- Chris Widener

Chris' Commentary:
Do you ever wake up in the morning and think, "I just don't want to get out of bed?" Do you ever feel like quitting in the middle of the afternoon? Of course you do - we all do! The big question is: "how do I keep from actually giving into my lack of motivation?" This is why knowing your purpose is imperative! Knowing your purpose in life and work, and knowing it with a clarity that borders on brilliance, is the one way to restart an unmotivated heart! When you begin to feel like sitting around, go back to your purpose. If it is clear to you, and if it is a powerful purpose in the first place, your engine will start firing fast again!

Action Point: Take some time today to put down on paper what your purpose in life is. Make it just a few sentences so you can remember it the next time you feel like giving up or being lazy. Make it as clear as you can! If you are feeling unmotivated today, take some time to think through the purpose you have in life.



3. The Last Word...

Today, for those of you who haven't read The Angel Inside, I wanted to give you a little taste... A flavor for what the book holds. Now, let me warn you, 1) it's a little long and 2) there isn't a "good" place to stop this story, so I'm definitely not trying to leave you hanging, I just didn't want to go too long and make the Ezine go on forever; so I've included the first 8 pages for you to read. If you like it, scroll down to #4 below and click the link to purchase this little book. And just in case I don't say it enough, a HUGE thank you for reading AND for your support! -- CW

Chapter 1: Finding the Angel Inside of You

"Every person has this tremendous capacity to be both king and warrior, a person of value and a person of accomplishment – of beauty and power."

Tom Cook had come to Europe looking for direction, but he was reluctantly coming to the conclusion that it may have evaded his grasp. Feeling frustrated, he had planned a two-week "getaway vacation" that he hoped would clear his head and give him the opportunity to do some soul searching. Ultimately, he was hoping that his time away from the U.S. would relieve the pressure he felt at home and allow him to make some thoughtful decisions about his future. He had already been to England, France, and Spain, but had yet to come to any clarity about himself. He was still as confused as the day he flew out of J.F.K. Today he found himself in Florence, Italy, the last city on his itinerary—and his time there was almost gone.

But then, something happened….

Florence. Firenze: romance, art, food, and wine. Most who go there live an emotional high as they take in the almost overwhelming beauty of the scenery. The class of the world is held in its museums. Some of the most famous, creative, and influential names in history were born here and made their lives here. It is, in all of its glory, a cultural hub of history and art beyond comparison. One would imagine it would be the perfect place to find direction, joy, and inspiration.

About 12:45 in the afternoon, Tom was sitting on a bench in a bustling plaza. He was tired. Tired of traveling. Tired of walking. Tired of life. Tired of striving. Just tired.

As he sat with his heavy backpack on the ground below him, Tom watched a vast sea of people coming and going, running around just as he does back home. Some of the people seemed happy, others looked like they were in a frenzy to be somewhere, while still others walked along with their love, gazing at each other. But all Tom saw was a sea of people that brought more questions than answers. Where are they going? What do they look forward to? Are they really happy? He hated to admit it, but he was a cynic at thirty. He certainly wasn't happy and couldn't imagine that anyone else could be either. Life didn't work that way it seemed.

As he sat, his head slowly drifted downward into his hands as he lost eye contact with the crowd around him. He was among many but was somehow still alone. Then, just as he was about to launch into a mental pity party, a voice spoke.

"My, my. You look much too young and handsome to be so sad of heart." the voice said.

Tom looked up—barely—to see one who had interrupted his self-loathing. It was an old man. Out of courtesy, he slowly leaned back up, still not saying anything. His eyes locked on the old man, surveying his new acquaintance. The old man was somewhat of a contrast. On one hand he looked…rough. On the other hand, he had an elegant air. He was old, that was for sure. Seventy maybe? Seventy-five? He had dark brown hair and a beard that covered a craggy face. The old man was ready for a trip to the barber. Medium height, thin, but with large biceps and pillar-like forearms. They seemed out of place on the old man's body. He had a "blue collar" look about him.
But the old man's clothes revealed the taste of a connoisseur; you could tell he wasn't buying off the rack at the corner store. This was a man who knew a tailor or two. An expensive beret topped his head, and his brown hair peeked out from underneath with a flare. He wore a beautifully pattern silk shirt flowing down around the top of natty slacks. Of course, this was Italy so his leather shoes were impeccable.

The old man spoke again. "Yes, you are sad. I can tell." He didn't ask permission before he sat down next to Tom. Tom couldn't believe this was happening. He was just getting used to being alone and depressed. "But I can also see that you certainly have much to be happy about. Tell me, what is your name?"

"Tom."

"Tom? Tom… Thomas?"

"Yes, Thomas."

"Ah yes, I see. Like the doubter?" the old man grinned.

"You are doubting aren't you? Doubting Thomas. What are you doubting, Thomas?"

Tom thought to himself. What am I doubting? This is crazy. I have a crazy Italian sitting next to me. Finally he said, "Well, I appreciate your concern, but I am not really doubting anything."

"Pardon me Thomas, I know you must find this intrusive, but I have intuition for these kinds of things. I have been around now forever, it seems. Yes, a very long time. I have seen much. I see that you are doubting. But perhaps you do not like that word. Well, then, what is it that burdens you this day, Thomas?"

What could it hurt? Nothing could get worse that it was. "Well, let's see. I just turned thirty years old. I'm broke. I am nowhere near where I want to be in my career. My girlfriend just dumped me because I don’t have any 'upside' as she calls it. My boss thinks I have zero career potential. Even my parents wonder when I am going to begin to make something of myself. Frankly, I am beginning to believe I'm useless."

A young couple walked by and asked the old man if he would take their picture. He obliged, and they quickly posed for him with touristy grins. When he was finished he returned their camera and they bounded down the street, laughing giddily.

The old man turned back to Thomas, "Useless, I see," said the old man. "That does sound disheartening. I can see why you would be sad, even in this beautiful city. Most people here—especially the tourists—are happy." He paused and then asked, "How long have you been in Florence?"

"This is my third day."

"Three days. That is wonderful! When do you depart?"

"Tomorrow morning at 6:30."

"Oh. Not much time left then."

The old man asked, "Have you taken in any of the artworks of interest?"

"Yes," Tom replied. "I breezed through them. What would a trip to Florence be without seeing the art, right?"

"You make a very good point, young Thomas. I myself think that the art is the most important reason to come to Florence. I assume, then, that you saw Michelangelo's work, the David—Il Gigante as they call it—The Giant?"

"Yeah, sure. That's one of the biggies, right – no pun intended?"

"Yes it is. The biggest in my opinion. And tell me Thomas, what did you learn from the David?"

"Learn? Uh, I didn't learn anything. I saw it. He was huge. Naked. It was great. I left."

"Oh my, you didn't learn anything from Il Gigante?" The old man looked at his watch. "It is one o'clock. Come now, we haven't much time." The old man began to stand as he said this.

Thomas looked up. "Come where? For what?" He was perfectly happy sitting right where he was. Now the old, wanna-be sage wanted to drag him off on an unscheduled tour.

"To go see Il Gigante of course! There is so much to learn from him and from Michelangelo. Come, you will see."

Okay, this is crazy. But the old man had an endearing quality. He was harmless. What else would he do for the rest of the afternoon other than watch birds land on the heads of statues?

Tom stood up and grabbed his backpack as he did. "Okay. I'm game. Let's go."

The old man beamed broadly. "Fantastic, Thomas." He put one arm around Tom and then said something that sank deeply into Tom. "This day will forever change your life."

With this, they began their journey to the foot of Il Gigante in the Galleria dell'Accademia. They made their way through the city walking at a pace Tom would describe as fast. This old guy can really move! "Excuse me, can we slow down a bit? This backpack is kind of heavy."





4. Can I ask a BIG favor (and give a BIG favor back)?

Hi there! One of the things I know about life is that there is no such thing as a "self-made" person. We are all interdependent on one another and we all need each other's help from time to time. Most people don't like asking for help and frankly, I am one of them. BUT! I really need your help to achieve a long standing goal of mine!

Today Random House, the largest publisher in the world, released my book The Angel Inside, nationwide through bookstores. It is also available on Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

So, what is the favor?

Well, I would like to get a BIG kickoff for the book's release by driving it to number one on Amazon on April 17th (coming out of the chute strong)! This is a big goal because as I write this the top four books are Harry Potter, the Secret, and two of Oprah's book club selections! But with your help it is absolutely possible!

Here is what I am going to ask you to do if you would be willing to help me:

Go to http://www.chriswidener.com/angelinside.asp and buy a copy of the book on April 17th!

My goal is to have enough people buy on April 17th to have the book soar to number one. That will give it a lot of recognition with other Amazon customers as well as with the powers that be in the book business and the all important book reviewers in the print media.

And the favor back?

When you do buy the new hardbound version of The Angel Inside (at a discounted price) on the 17th through the link below I will give you back over 24 bonuses worth well over $700 (including bonuses from Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, myself and many more)! These are great bonuses and after reviewing them you will agree that most as a stand alone product will bring you more value than the cost of the book.

I hope I can count on you! I appreciate your friendship and your partnership in helping me reach this goal!

All told, with tax and shipping, buying one copy should come in around $15.

You know, my birthday is April 18th, so, instead of taking me out to lunch, buy my book! :-) It is probably cheaper than taking me to lunch anyway! And by the way this is a great book - see the comment from Zig Ziglar at the end that he sent totally unsolicited!

Plus, don't forget all the bonuses you'll receive!

Just click this link on April 17th!
http://www.chriswidener.com/angelinside.asp

Thank you for being part of all I do!

Chris Widener


PS - Make sure and claim all your free bonuses. Click this link to see the entire list of what you'll receive when you buy a copy of The Angel Inside http://www.chriswidener.com/angelinside.asp

PPS - From Zig Ziglar:
"The Angel Inside is truly one of the most inspiring, encouraging motivational books I have ever read. Once I got started, I found it impossible to stop reading. And I say this as a man who has never read fiction; I've always said that when I get all of the truth, then I'll start reading fiction. It was a wonderful thrill to read a work of fiction that contains an enormous amount of truth and encouragement."


 

5. Customer Feedback

Okay, the feedback I've received last night and today has been both amazing and VERY humbling! I have to say unequivocally that my readers are THE ABSOLUTE BEST in the world! You guys have overwhelmingly responded and I just want to say, THANK YOU!!! Those two words seem so inadequate and trivial compared to the gratitude I feel. Thank you for all you are doing to help me achieve this long-time goal of mine. Each of you is truly the best, and I pray that blessings and abundance are granted to you for responding, for reaching out and making a HUGE impact... With that being said, here are just a FEW (this doesn't event scratch the proverbial "tip of the iceberg") of the responses you've sent me. Once again, thank you, I appreciate it so very much!


This is incredible!!! You know how much I love this book and quote from it often (actually I am even quoting from it at NTC!!!) I always get asked where can I find this book --- trust me, you too will want this book as well. Let's show our thanks to Chris for writing a book that can touch all our hearts. I even shared this book recently with someone from church after telling him how much I loved it -- he in turn shared it with a co-worker and was wanting copies too! You'll want copies on hand to give as gifts --- it's just THAT good!!! NVP's & VP's please forward to your teams!! Love ya~!
Linda Parker, Executive National Vice President, Independent Consultant, Arbonne International

Let's give Chris a really awesome Birthday. We have been so blessed to hear him speak and train both on our team call and in Naples. Let's give back by ordering "The Angel Inside" see the email below for details. We finally have an opportunity to do something for him and be rewarded in the process. How great is that. Let's pull together and make an impact. Thank you for your support, Please forward to your teams
-- Linda Leitel

Chris I just finished it and it is dynamite! As a school counsellor, with my own personal side business, I hope to use it in my schools. Keep up the fabulous work, very creative and drives the point home in a solid fashion.
-- Paul

It will be my pleasure Chris! I will forward on to my teams as many of them have been impacted by your teaching and training's as much as I have! The Angel Inside is beautifully written. You deserve the best!
-- Sherri

Hi Chris, I just wanted to let you know that I already have a paperback copy of the Angel Inside, but was delighted to be invited to help get the book to the no. 1 bestseller position, which it definitely deserves. I have ordered my hardback copy and collected my bonuses - thank you SO SO much (there are so many great titles I'm not sure where to start, so I think I'll read the Angel Inside again first, then decide!). I was wondering if I could forward your e-mail to my friends, colleagues and associates? I am an Independent Distributor with Herbalife International, so I know there would be many interested in your book, and all the free downloads, but I don't know if this offer is only for regular subscribers to your e-zine or if you are happy to receive all the help you can get? You would more than likely, increase your subscribers. I am a huge fan - you have made such a difference in my life - and I was thrilled to be asked to help you! Thank you most sincerely. One of my goals is that one day I might be able to take you out for lunch. In the meantime, I hope that my small purchase has helped you to the top of the best seller list, and I will happily forward your e-mail to my contacts as long as I have your permission. I hope you have a FANTASTIC birthday
-- Cath Thomson, UK

Hi Chris - best of luck on the 17th! I have already purchased a boatload of these and love this book. I will pass this along for you...
-- CoCo (Nicole Hennessey), Exec Regional Vice President, Arbonne International


Thank you Ezine readers, for the sincere and kind words of encouragement and appreciation you sent me! -- CW

 

6.  More Information

Ezine Archives - To review previous issues of Chris Widener's Ezine, please go to: Ezine Archives

How to Subscribe - Subscribe at Chris Widener International or send an email with JOIN in the subject to subscribe@chriswidener.com

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For a complete listing of Chris Widener's books, CDs and downloadable products go to:
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Booking Chris Widener - Send an email to speaker@chriswidener.com and include your name, company, date and location of event, along with anticipated audience size and composition.

No or List Sharing! - You can rest assured that your subscription email address will be kept in the strictest confidence. We do not divulge, nor make available to any third party, our subscription list. Your privacy is paramount to us! Therefore, it receives the respect it deserves!

Copyright/Reprint Info - The contents of this Ezine may be copied, reproduced, or freely distributed for all nonprofit purposes without the consent of the author as long as the author's name and contact information are included.

Example: Reproduced with permission from the Chris Widener Ezine. To subscribe to Chris Widener's Ezine, go to http://www.chriswidener.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@chriswidener.com Copyright 2007 Chris Widener International. All rights reserved worldwide.

All contents Copyright 2007 Chris Widener International except where indicated otherwise. All rights reserved worldwide. **Duplication or reprints only with express permission or approved Credits (see above). All trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

Contact Information:

Chris Widener International
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Southlake, TX 76092
877-929-0439
International and/or Dallas/Ft Worth - 817-442-5407
Fax 817-442-1390 or visit the website - http://www.chriswidener.com