I have been traveling a lot lately for speaking engagements, speaking to a bunch of great groups. As I have been talking about leadership lately, it really got me thinking about communication and its role in helping us connect with other people, and to thus improve our leadership.

The thing I have been thinking about most is what I call the "Two Be's" If you want to know how to connect with other people, these are central:

"Be Interesting." People like to be around interesting people. They like to learn from them. The last thing you want to be if you want to lead is to be boring. People's eyes rolling back in their heads is a sign that you need to kick it up a notch. Read good books, stay on top of the news, and learn new things. That will help you be interesting and develop your conversational skills. But there is something even more important – the next "Be."

"Be Interested." More than wanting to talk about yourself, talk about the other person. Be interested in who they are, what they do, and what they like. That will endear them to you and attract them to you. People want to know that you care about them and their needs. The next time you are around someone you lead, spend the time focusing on them and see the magic that happens with your personal leadership!

And, hey speaking of being interested. There's a specific subject I'm interested in and currently researching... The American Dream. I'm doing a little survey I'd love to have your help with, so if you'd like to give me your opinion take a minute to scroll down to #4 below and answer my questions. I'd love to hear from you!

P.S. Today's issue is going out to 95,325 subscribers. If you've gained value from what you read in my Ezine, then I would like to thank you in advance for forwarding this issue to friends, family and associates!

In This Issue.......

1. Charting Your Course to Success Article
2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary
3. The Last Word...
4. Participate in my survey on "What is the American Dream?"
5. More Information

1. Charting Your Course to Success Article

Don't Stop Asking So Many Questions Chris Widener

I take my son on a trip that we make together every year. This particular time we left the house at 6 am on a Monday and got home at 9 pm on a Thursday. That was just 87 hours. My son was ten-years old, and that translated to 84,293 questions!

I mean, 10-year old kids can be question machines! Virtual question-paloozas! On this trip, my son wanted to know why we got up so early, why we chose that airline, when we would get there, what things meant in the books we were reading, how they got the jelly filling in the donuts, and on…. and on…. and on…. For four days!! Even my friend who drove us to the airport told my wife later that he asked a lot of questions, even at 6 am! Anyway, you get the point.

I found myself repeatedly saying what thousands of you have said many times yourself, I'm sure:

Stop asking so many questions!

And then it hit me: This is why so many people lose their ability to achieve success. We tell them to stop asking so many questions. That's right, we methodically strip our children of their innate inquisitiveness. And then when they get older we wonder why they don't think for themselves! We told them to stop asking questions! They were born with a desire to understand the world around them and we, because of our frustration with the process, tell them to stop asking questions. What happens when you tell someone repeatedly to stop asking questions? They stop asking questions. It is a classic example of negative feedback and association. The chances are high that it happened to you to some degree.

But being inquisitive is inherent to long-term success. We must constantly be asking questions of others and ourselves. We must relentlessly be questioning processes that we use. We must always question whether or not products can be improved. Questioning is what produces new answers, which leads us to forge new ground.

Where does that leave us? Recommit yourself to asking lots of questions. Start by going through the basics: Who, what, when, where, why and how. Except, put "why" at the front of the list. Why? Because "why" gets behind the scenes even more so that the other questions do. "Why" deals with more than facts; it deals with motives and reasons. "Why" can be very enlightening.

After all, "Why" is about 80% of all of the questions that kids ask, and if anybody knows how to ask questions, it is kids. That is, if we let them.

So, as you live your life, let yourself ask lots of questions. Yes, people will wonder if you are a troublemaker, but you will know that you are pursuing enlightenment, knowledge, and the wisdom that will take you far beyond those who chose to live as others tell them life shall be lived!

Don't stop asking so many questions, and if you have kids at home, don't stop them either!

Chris Widener

2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary

"Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence." -- Abigail Adams

Chris' Commentary:

One thing I try to tell everyone I come in contact with is to enter into the learning process. In fact, I think it is virtually impossible in this day and age to grow personally and professionally without reading or listening to something. Our personal growth is based on the interaction with new ideas that stretch us and challenge us to think and act in new ways. Many people want to see change in their lives, yet won't think or act differently because they aren't learning new ways to think or act. Why? I think it comes down to this: Because learning is work. Learning doesn't just happen. We need to pursue it as Adams says, "with diligence."

Action Point: Start yourself on the road to growth today! Pick a time each and every day when you can read for 15 minutes. It may be the first thing in the morning. It may be the first fifteen minutes at work. It may be the fifteen minutes before you go to sleep. Set it aside and begin to do it every day. If you have a long commute, stop listening to the morning show and get some good personal growth tapes! Do you know that an extra fifteen minutes a day of reading will give you 91 hours a year of reading? At 2 hours a book, that is 45 books a year! And you said you didn't have the time? Just give yourself fifteen minutes a day, that's all I ask, starting today!
 

3. The Last Word...

I recently saw a report on what people are afraid of in life. Obviously dying was near the top of the list. That is understandable. Truth be told, I'm not in a hurry to take that trip myself, but I know it is coming.

Want to know what I am even more afraid of than dying?

Here it is:

Not Really Living.

I am more afraid of not really living than I am of dying. So of course, knowing me that made me wonder why that is? And I think it's for a couple of reasons:

One, there is nothing you can do about the fact that you are going to die someday. It is something we all have to accept.

Two, there is something you can do about how you live.

Jim Rohn, one of my mentors, says that everyone has to experience pain: Either the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The very last pain I want to experience in my life is the pain of regret. I don't want to get to the end of my life and say, "I wish I would have…"

No, I want to REALLY live. How do you do that? Here are a few thoughts on how to REALLY live:

1. Decide what you want to accomplish in life. Write down 100 things you want to do, places you want to visit, etc.

2. Get used to the idea of taking risks. Nobody really lives unless they take risks. Playing it safe will get you through life, but it won't let you really live.

3. Laugh. The people I know who are most successful in life are people who have a great sense of humor.

4. Do something crazy. Do something no one expects you to. Say something no one expects you to say. Leave people astonished sometimes.

5. Live with integrity. That will keep you from crashing and burning along the road. That's never fun.

6. Give more than you receive. Be a person that others see as a generous, "go-too" guy in time of need.

7. Take your vacation. Seems simple but too many people don't even take the vacation they have earned and deserve.

8. Dream BIG! Let others have the tiny dreams and limp through life. As the saying goes: Go BIG or go home!

C'mon my friends, lets you and I REALLY LIVE from here on out. Let's commit to making a big difference in the lives of those around us.

And in the end, even though you will have to check out eventually, you will look back on your life and say, "Boy, I really did this life right!" -- CW
 

4. What is the American Dream?

I am doing some research right now on the concept of the American Dream for a possible book and would love the help and feedback of my readers. This is something that even those of you who do not live in America can participate in as I would love your feedback!

Just help me answer these questions:

1. What is the American Dream?

2. Is the American Dream still possible?

3. What does it take to live the American Dream?

And one for those who do not live in the US:

1. An outside look at the American Dream. Perspective of a non-American.

Please write a short essay of under 150 words on any or all of the above and all participants will be entered into a drawing for a set of personal development audio programs and books valued at $100! And the winner of the best essay will win a set valued at $250!

Just shoot me an email at chris@chriswidener.com with your 150 word essay on the American Dream and I will pick a winner within a few weeks!

Thanks for your input!

Chris Widener
chris@chriswidener.com
www.ChrisWidener.com
 

5. More Information

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