Happy Valentines Day (a day early)! Don't let this day slip past without acknowledging the special people in your life. Yes, your spouse or significant other if you have one -- that's the obvious one. But what about your parents, those with whom you have a special friendship or relationship, your kids or a lonely neighbor. I know there are always mixed emotions on Valentines Day for both men and women -- some love it and look forward to it, others dread it and wish no one had ever come up with a day to celebrate "love". Whatever direction you lean, think about that love can come in many different shapes, forms and sizes. So let today be just that, let it take whatever form will bring you and those you care about joy.

P.S. Today's issue is going out to 100,358 subscribers. If you've gained value from what you read in my Ezine, then I would like to thank you in advance for forwarding this issue to friends, family and associates!

In This Issue.......

1. Charting Your Course to Success Article
2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary
3. The Last Word...
4. The feel good movie of the year!
5. More Information

1. Charting Your Course to Success Article

Put Some Z.I.P. Into Your Relationships by Chris Widener

Relationships are really what make the world go 'round, aren't they? I mean, good, positive, healthy and meaningful relationships provide us with the richest experiences we have here on this old earth of ours. Your loving spouse who shares everything with you; that best friend who connects with you like few others do; the people at work who appreciate you and help you to become the best that you can be; This is what brings joy to life!

But... relationships can also be the bane of our existence! What really brings more pain in this life than a broken relationship, especially when it isn't just broken but downright ugly!

So, it behooves us to do all that we can to keep our relationships zipping right along, doesn't it? If we put our very best into our relationships we can almost guarantee getting the very best out of our relationships!

Through the years I have spent hundreds of hours working with people in their relationships: Marriages, friendships, working relationships and social relationships. Through it all I have seen some wonderful things and some terrible things. It truly is the good, the bad and the ugly!

But I have been able to find three core elements of successful relationships. These are things that, when done over time, begin to create for you the kinds of relationships that you truly desire. They are the kinds of relationships you have always dreamed of.

The key to remembering these three items is the acronym Z.I.P. Z.I.P. stands for three things you can do - and begin to do immediately - to improve any and all of your relationships. They are:

Put some ZEST into your relationships.
Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.
Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.

Let's take a closer look at each of these three:

Put some ZEST into your relationships.
By Zest, I primarily mean fun. Relationships were meant to be fun! We wouldn't have been made with the capacity to have fun if relationships weren't supposed to have a little zest in them!

Think about it: Don't you usually start out most healthy relationships with a lot of fun times. Whether it is going out to dinner or a ballgame, or spending time playing a game or even just a lively talk, you usually have fun as a major part of the relationship. Fun is some of the glue that bonds the relationship.

But as life goes on, specifically in a marriage, but in all relationships really, the fun starts to go by the wayside. More and more it is about getting the job done, whatever the job may be.

To restore the relationship, to put a little zip into it, we need to reintroduce the idea of "zest."

What about you? Have you lost the zest? What can you do to get it back? Think of a specific relationship you have: What were the fun things you did at the beginning of the relationship that acted as the glue that bonded you together? Now, commit to doing those again and see if your relationship doesn't begin to soar again! If you can, develop new fun things to do together so you can both start an adventure of fun together!

Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.
First a couple of clarifications: One, I don't just mean intimacy in the currently common understanding, that is, sexual intimacy. I mean for all intents and purposes, taking your relationship to a deeper level. Second, I don't mean that you have to start doing group hugs with your workmates or having revelation sessions where the tissue flows freely.

What I do mean is that every relationship that is mutually satisfying has a level of depth to it that provides meaning. This is really what the search is for in our relationships: meaning.

Remember when you first started your relationship, whether with your spouse or friend. All of that time was spent opening up, telling who you are, where you were from, what your likes and dislikes are. There was a deep sense of satisfaction with the relationship - that is why it continued. You liked who they were and you enjoyed being known by them.

But then something happens. We get to a certain level and the pursuit of depth ends. We stop sharing feeling, likes, and dislikes. We stop sharing joys and dreams and fears. Instead, we settle into routine. The daily grind takes over and we stop knowing one another and we simply exist together. Now don't get me wrong, every time you get together doesn't have to be deep. Remember, I am the one who advocates in the previous paragraphs just having plain old fun sometimes. But there is a need for regular times of intimate connection where we go deeper with others.

This is particularly hard for many of the male species like myself but it is not only possible but healthy and needed! If we want to have the kinds of relationship we were made to have, we have to open ourselves up to having others know us and for us to know others.

True meaningful relationships come when we are loved and accepted for whom we are at our core, not simply for acting the right way in our relationships so as to keep the other person in it.

Think about the relationships you would like to see improvement in. Take some time in the coming weeks and months to spend time just talking and getting to a deeper level in your relationship. Specifically, let the other person deeper into your world. You can't force the other person to be more intimate and you certainly can't say, "Let's get together and have an intimate conversation," because that would be too contrived. But you can make a decision for yourself that you will let others into your world. Perhaps this will be the catalyst for them doing the same.

You can guard yourself from intimacy but then you won't go much deeper and you will feel a longing in your heart for more, or you can begin the deepening process and see your relationships change for the better.

Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.
The most meaningful relationships we have are those that are held together by a common purpose and vision for what the relationship can accomplish, not only for those involved but also for a greater good.

Let's face it, when people have a common purpose they feel like they are part of a team and they feel bound together in that relationship. Even when people may be disappointed in the people they are in relationship with, if they have a purpose, such as raising the children, they are much more likely to stick it out. Purpose creates bonds.

So what happens if we are proactively involved in seeking out a common purpose with those who we want to have a relationship with or those who we already have a relationship with but we would like to see it go deeper with? Well, it gets better and stronger.

Think about your strongest relationships. Aren't they centered around at least one area of purpose or a common goal?

What about a relationship that has cooled? Think back and see if perhaps you used to have a common purpose but it has gone by the wayside.

And what of your desire to see a relationship grow? Take some time to begin to cultivate a common purpose. Sit down with that person and tell them that you would like to have some common goals, some purposes that you pursue together. As you develop these, you will see your relationship strengthen in ways you never imagined!

Let's recap: You want your relationships to show a little "zip?" Then put a little Z.I.P. in them:

Put some ZEST into your relationships.
Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.
Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.

2. Made for Success Quote and Commentary

"You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." -- Dale Carnegie

Chris' Commentary:
It is amazing what power our words have to lift others up. You know how it feels when someone says something nice to you: Your spirit soars, sometimes for hours or even days! This is one of the great gifts and powers of human kind. Just as you have the ability to have your spirit lifted high, you also have the ability to lift someone else's spirit. Your kind words may be the fuel that gets someone through the day. Your words of encouragement may be what pushes someone to finally try something that becomes a tremendous success. The fact is, you never know what will result other than that the person will enjoy it very much, and that in and of itself may be the best reason of all to say those words you hold in your heart.

Action Point: Tell someone today how much you appreciate them. Be specific. Go ahead, right now. Pick up the phone, walk into the other room, or email them. Whatever you need to do to get to them right now. In fact, let's make today a triple blessing day: Do this to three people by the end of the day. Let's let some real power loose - the power of happiness!

3. The Last Word...

In honor of Valentines Day, I'm sharing a little excerpt titled "LUV Talk" by Gary Smalley. Enjoy! -- CW

LUV Talk

You've probably already practiced LUV Talk whether you realized it or not. Every time you pass through a drive-through window at your favorite fast-food restaurant, you've been engaged in LUV Talk. You place your order, then the drive-through attendant repeats your order back to you. Like the fast-food clerk repeats a customer's order, a mate using LUV Talk repeats what his or her mate has said. This communication method not only clarifies the conversation and prevents misunderstanding; it allows the couple to delve into the deeper meanings behind their words. Just imagine how many millions of dollars these fast food restaurants have spent to find the best communication method to stay "married" to their customers. We can use the same method for free to stay married to our mate.

In LUV Talk a couple follows the same basic actions that occur at the majority of fast-food restaurants. In this illustration, the wife first "places her feelings and needs order," then her husband acts like the employee. He repeats what he heard her order. "Let me see if I heard you. You are saying that it's very frustrating when I seem to ignore your feelings of fear when I don't call to let you know I am safe." She answers, "Yes, that's how I feel." Or she can make corrections to the order if he heard her incorrectly. He then responds by thinking or saying, "So, that's who you are" (validation). He doesn't have to agree with her or change any of his behaviors, or feel it's somehow his fault that she is frustrated. That's just the way she chose to react to her circumstances. After she feels understood and validated, it's his turn to share his feelings or needs. Therefore, the couple reverses positions. Now the husband has a turn to respond to his wife's order or place his own order. She becomes the restaurant employee in order to listen and validate his feelings and needs.

It has been scientifically proven that if a couple can speak to each other with honor, understanding and validation during an argument, the four divorce "germs" can be eliminated. However, there are very simple rules that must be followed when using "LUV Talk."

Employee           Customer
1. L isten            1. Talk for yourself
2. U nderstand  2. Bite size phrases
3. V alidate         3. Win/Win solutions
4. R epeat
 

4. The feel good movie of the year!

Pop some popcorn, dim the lights and get ready to watch a powerful movie.

PASS IT ON, an award-winning film that clearly explains how everyone, regardless of background, can achieve their fondest dreams of wealth, inspiration, success and happiness.

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You won't find it at your local video store. But I want to make it available to you at a special price – 40% off suggested retail!

You'll not soon forget its message – one you'll want to share!

Follow this link now to find out more about this extraordinary movie and take advantage of a very special offer.

http://passiton.yoursuccessstore.com

5. More Information

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